There’s no place like home, except when home is caught in a whirling tornado of foolishness
Churning like a Kansas twister, the winds of media, politics, and popular culture blow a swirling gale of blustering opinion, vaporous policies, and airy notions of every kind. All the gusty proclamations leave us wondering how we ended up in this crazy land of foolish notions, so far from the commonsense wisdom that used to be… common. But finding such wisdom in this world seems less likely than discovering monkeys that fly.
Clearly, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
This book’s title is a reference to the creatures in Dorothy’s dreamt Land of Oz as depicted in the well-loved Judy Garland movie: The Wizard of Oz. Those winged beasts ultimately kidnapped and flew Dorothy to her scary showdown with the Wicked Witch of the West. In her long journey to that moment she traveled through a world of fanciful imaginings, many of which were no less believable than many of the foolish notions that have recently been conjured up on this side of the rainbow. Yet along the road there were wise lessons to be learned, (or relearned), and these allowed Dorothy to make her way through the foolishness, returning home a bit wiser than when she left.
In similar fashion, each flight in this book offers a showdown with today’s dreamy illusions, some of which are destructive enough to imagine that there must be a wicked witch behind them. Between takeoff and landing each flight defines a wise habit that is as applicable today as it was to a certain little girl from Kansas. Perhaps more so:
About
This book is composed in ten flights. Each charts a course to (re)discover wisdom through ten, simple habits that Dorothy discovered; habits that contrast with the foolish impulses of our contemporary world as much as Kansas did to Oz:
(1) Think and Speak for Yourself
Liberty of conscience vs Submission to cancel culture
(2) Choose Freedom over Comfort
Independence vs Serene serfdom
(3) Own Your Outcomes
Self-responsibility vs The victim mindset
(4) Be Skeptical
Questioning vs Doting acceptance of authority
(5) Confront Fashionable Nonsense
Calling out the ridiculous vs Woke indoctrination
(6) Put Away Childish Things
Shedding youthful notions vs Chronic naïveté
(7) Treasure Individuals
Celebrating individuality vs Identity politics
(8) Live Consciously
Paying attention to the real vs Screen-numbed diversion
(9) Seek Meaning
Pursuit of purpose vs Lazy nihilism
(10) Embrace Adversity
Growing through challenge vs Learned helplessness
In each theme I’ve tried to illustrate both the wise and the foolish using a bit of satire and some colorful analogies ranging from medieval torture to the zombie apocalypse. Each essay is a flying monkey, if you will, that intends to carry you to a little showdown of your own- confronting the assumptions sold by the media, the political class, and a devolved popular culture.
The wise words of renowned minds serve as launching points for each little voyage of wisdom, borrowed from the likes of: George Bernard Shaw, Friedrich Nietzsche, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi, Mark Twain, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Werner Heisenberg, Jane Austin, Groucho Marx and 50 others. Unlike the Wicked Witch’s minions, our flying monkeys keep good company.
We’re not in Kansas anymore. When Monkeys Fly lands at just the right time to help us face today’s swirling foolishness with the kind of wisdom found back over the rainbow.
FLIGHTS
Each flying monkey carries a pin for bursting the tornadic bubbles of foolishness that are in such abundance now.
A yellow brick road of habits to find your way home
Think and Speak for Yourself
Liberty of conscience VS Submission to cancel culture
Messy and uncomfortable as it can be at times, free thought and free speech are the sustaining power of civilization. The various stops on this flight address why all views are needed, including yours. Which is why failure to keep this habit is not an option.
Choose Freedom Over Comfort
Independence VS Serene serfdom
When there are barbarians at the gate, we prepare for battle to prevent them from taking our freedom. Yet when authoritarians arrive at the gate to offer their services, we attentively listen to a catalog of attractive promises that will cost us our freedom.
To prevent such ironic outcomes, we must keep the habit of choosing freedom over comfort.
Own Your Outcomes
Self-responsibility VS The victim mindset
Waiting for the world to make things right for you is a fool’s game.
It can’t.
The only practical response to a largely indifferent world is the habit of taking ownership- of both the circumstances you didn’t create and the outcomes that you must. Anything less is to be a mere passenger in a life that you should be driving.
Be Skeptical
Questioning VS Doting acceptance of authority
“Laws are like sausages. You should never see them made.” (Variously attributed)
Even so, we must exercise a habit of continuously challenging the presumptions of the sausage makers- both their policy recipes and concerning their suitability for the task of turning the crank. Unchallenged, those presumptions can turn out a dish that will leave you retching.
Confront Fashionable Nonsense
Calling out the ridiculous VS Woke indoctrination
When you feel ill-used by accepted norms it’s only natural to make up some new ones.
This flight examines whether we are abandoning ideas and standards for the better, or simply because the old ones recognize difficult realities that we now prefer to ignore. Knowing the difference requires the habit of confronting whatever nonsense is currently trending in the culture.
Put Away Childish Things
Shedding youthful notions VS Chronic naivete
When we remove the bubble-wrap encasing a delicate item it becomes subject to damage.
When we remove the bubble-wrap of naïve notions we also become subject to injury, at least of the emotional kind.
Yet, the habit of making full contact with the unchildish realities of life, however discomforting, is necessary to developing the opposite of naivete: Wisdom.
Treasure Individuals
Celebrating individuality VS Identity politics
Relationship, whether romantic, friend, family, colleague or other is both a center-point of life and its core source of conflict.
In reality, sometimes it’s you, and sometimes it’s me. This flight examines the nature of relationships, of human nature, and the ways that we often abuse our assumptions about groups of people rather than making a habit of cherishing the individuality of those people.
Live Consciously
Paying attention to the real VS Screen-numbed diversion
Every phone zombie you see walking along the street, eyes fixed only upon their screen, is testament to how disconnected we’ve become from authentic humanity.
This flight urges the habit of regularly reconnecting with your humanity to stave-off our self-made zombie apocalypse.
Seek Meaning
Pursuit of purpose VS Lazy nihilism
The life lived without deep meaning cannot provide fulfillment. The life lived with meaningful purpose cannot help but deliver it.
What deep meaning there is must be discovered by each of us in our own way, but that can only happen if we first make a habit of looking for it.
Embrace Adversity
Growing through challenge VS Learned helplessness
Like the three-legged dog, we have choices in our response to circumstance- to whimper in the corner or learn to run in a new way.
This final flight illustrates how, ultimately, your quality of life depends largely upon how you respond to the ordinary and extraordinary challenges of life. The habit of embracing adversity lets us reshape it, rather than being shaped by it.
Wisdom Doesn’t Come Easy
At the end of the movie, The Wizard of Oz, the good witch Glinda tells Dorothy that she could have returned home at any time by clicking the heels of her Ruby Slippers together and repeating three times: “There’s no place like home.” When asked why she had not explained this to Dorothy earlier (before all the trouble had been endured), Glinda blithely explained: “Because she wouldn’t have believed me.”
Now, if I had been Dorothy, at that moment I would have stretched out and punched that witch right in the nose, saying: “Are you kidding me! Sure, I would have been doubtful, but I would have given it a try! And, maybe, just maybe I would have avoided all the horrors that I’ve just been through! Did you also know about the flying monkeys? My God… flying monkeys!”
But I digress. The point is that in order to be awakened from her dreamy bubble, Dorothy needed to first gain new perspective- even if by force of aerial simians.
Of course, we can also benefit from the perspectives of our fellow travelers (whether Scarecrow, Tin Man, or Lion). Yet we are each increasingly ensconced within self-reinforcing, dreamy thought bubbles of our own making or have, perhaps, simply been captured by the swirling thought bubbles of socio-political orthodoxy (think: the Media bubble, the University bubble, the Beltway bubble, the Hollywood bubble, and Cause Du Jour bubbles of every ilk.) These are often as fanciful as Dorothy’s dream. What’s more, these twisters are unlikely to dissipate anytime soon- perhaps not until the sun rises in the west to cross a rainbow or, perhaps, when monkeys fly.
You will likely find some of the monkey’s musings to be uplifting, while others may merely raise your ire. Some may reinforce your current view, and others may challenge you to rethink. I hope that’s why you are here, because no amount of heal-clicking is going to let you avoid encountering some rather startling conceptual flying monkeys along the way. So be it. Though the road is yellow, it is not for the cowardly (lions excepted.)
But, like Glinda, I realize that you won’t simply believe. Fortunately, convincing you is not the point of this book anyway. Instead, it hopes to surmount the internecine tornado spun up by media, politics and popular culture so you might consider ten significant habits that may help pave a path to wiser action. As such, this road winds through quite a diverse range of topics, some bright and sunlit, and others more darkly brooding.
So, put on your Ruby Reds slippers, watch Glinda float off in her sparkly bubble while gently pressing a tissue to her bloody nose, and keep an eye pealed for those flying monkeys. They each carry a pin for bursting the tornadic bubbles of foolishness that are in such abundance now.
We’re not in Kansas anymore. You’ll just have to follow the Yellow Brick Road.
When Monkeys Fly Copyright © 2025 by W. William Haines
All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, contact the author.
First Edition
ISBN: 978-1-7358531-3-0